“Sorry, there is nothing we can do for you; you need to start looking at other options.” I will never forget these words or how they made me feel. To be honest, I did not understand why God was allowing this to happen to us. We are told the order of life is simple: go to school, meet someone, fall in love, and have children. And this is exactly how things had gone for me, except for the last part. Bryan and I were now in that category of people who couldn’t have children. I felt as though I should have seen this coming, since we had been dealing with this issue for nearly 3 ½ years. Month after month, the hope of having children began to fade, but it was never completely lost. I would hear women talk about how easy it was to get pregnant. This filled my heart with jealousy, as I wished it was easy for me to become pregnant. I would also hear of women who were neglecting or abusing their children. This would make me question God as to how these women were blessed with a child, yet Bryan and I, who love children dearly, were struggling with infertility.
We went to several appointments and saw countless doctors, trying to determine why I was unable to become pregnant. At first they would say they did not know what was wrong or why we were struggling (which continued to give me a little bit of hope). I thought God wasn’t saying ‘no’, he was saying ‘not yet.’ And then came that dreadful day a few months ago when a doctor told us there is was nothing they could do to help us have children, and we would have to begin looking at other options. That brings me to the point of this blog; to keep our family and friends up to date on the journey Bryan and I go through to start a family of our own.
We originally looked at the possibility of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) but after much discussion and prayer, we decided this wasn’t the option for us. So, we have begun looking into adoption. We have researched several different agencies, and some we originally thought would be a good fit for us have turned out otherwise. However there was one agency that stood out to us, and we decided to meet with them. We went into the meeting a bit reluctant, but hopeful. After the meeting we talked and prayed about the decision, and felt like this is the agency we would like to work with throughout this process. We are currently in the process of completing the application.
At this time we are asking our friends and family to support us through prayer. Please pray that God would give us clarity in this situation, as there are many important decisions to be made. We would also like to ask that you join us in praying over the application process and that it would be accepted. We would be heartbroken if there was something in the application that would cause the agency to not work with us. As I am sure many of you are aware, the process of adoption is quite expensive. We know that if God is leading us in this direction that he will provide the finances. Please pray that we would be wise with our money in order to make this happen. Lastly, and very importantly, we ask for prayer for the birth mom that will ultimately be matched with us, as we know this will not be an easy decision for her.
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.